The birth story of
Emery
I believe in birth. I believe in the power of a woman’s body
and I believe in the celebration of life. The birth
story of my second daughter Emery is proof of that, and I think it’s important
to share my experience with those who are seeking to educate themselves on how joyful birth really can be, if you allow it.
This story starts back with the birth of Natalie, our oldest
daughter. I had just turned 17 when I found out I was pregnant- talk about life
changing! Her father and I were young and upon finding out we were pregnant, we decided that despite it being unexpected, we would make the best of it and embrace the change. We did what we thought was
“normal.” We went and found an OB/GYN, went to all of our appointments, tested for
everything they offered, one intervention after another. I did not know any
better, and why would I? American culture says all of that is necessary, so
who was I to say anything different? Who was I to question doctors? I know from
looking back at the doctor’s charting that I entertained the idea of having a water
birth, but that was not offered at my location. I loved being pregnant and embraced it every day. I felt very in touch with my body and soon to be daughter.
Nine months flew by and to our
surprise my water broke as soon as it hit midnight on my due date! I went to
the hospital right away because my contractions were coming fast and close together. Looking back at my video, I was
just a scared young girl. I was excited, but so nervous. I did what I thought
was typical and routine, and got my epidural. With a few effortless pushes,
Natalie Harper was born and motherhood began! A beautiful 6lb 12oz healthy baby
girl! What an amazing experience, even with the few interventions I had.
My husband and I knew we wanted to wait awhile before even
thinking about having anymore! During that time I started to get introduced to
the natural birth community from hearing about my dear friend’s recent
homebirth and seeing her involved in networks that promoted women’s informed
and educated choices.
Upon this search I came across Birth Without Fear. It was so eye opening to see and hear how there were so many families that sought
out natural birth alternatives!
I began researching local midwives, doulas, and
birth photographers all before even being pregnant. I had made up my mind and
knew exactly what I wanted. I knew that upon becoming pregnant again I
would find my inner strength and birth my baby naturally and peacefully at
home. I had only breastfed Natalie for a few months, and was determined to strictly
breastfeed this time. I was so confident in my choices, and I knew that it
would be an amazing experience.
We had finally decided to start trying to conceive again in
late April, after Natalie’s second birthday.
I remember in mid May I woke up
one morning, and I immediately had a smile on my face. I felt it in my heart, I
knew I was pregnant. I didn't rush out to buy a test, because I already knew the results. I ended up taking two later that afternoon and it was POSITIVE!
I was beyond thrilled, and so our journey began! We
contacted several midwives and found the perfect one for us, Emily Germash. Then,
I started to set up arrangements with birth photographers. I knew exactly how I
wanted the birth to go, and I planned each little detail accordingly. For nine
months, I dreamt of the perfect natural birth! I was so eager to give birth and
experience it without interventions. The pregnancy was great, and we found out
around 20 weeks at our gender reveal party that it was another girl! (Sorry
hunny, we’ll get our boy next time!)
Time flew by and in the final days of my
pregnancy, I spent quality time with Natalie, as I knew it would all be very
different soon. The last picture that I have on my phone before going into
labor was of Natalie and I sitting at the table painting birth affirmations
together.
January 28th, 2012 started out like any other
day. I was feeling pretty normal, just big and pregnant. We dropped Natalie off
with my grandma so we could go get our taxes done, and ran into town. After we
got that taken care of, we picked her back up and spent the rest of the
afternoon hanging out. The only thing I had noticed up to this point was that
for about two days I had a small appetite, which was odd for a big ol’ pregnant
girl! I went and took a bath around 7:00 pm and decided to see if I could
naturally bring my labor on by trying nipple stimulation like several people
had suggested. I was having a lot of Braxton Hicks. I checked my own dilation in the bath, and I was somewhere around a 3.
(Which I had been for weeks) I got out of the bath to see if they would stop.
Around 8:11 pm I started to time them. They were short contractions and pretty
painless, just some pressure down below. I could tell I was dilating with each one. After 20 minutes or so, I decided to
call my midwife to see what she thought. She asked if she needed to come and I
told her no, since I wasn’t for sure I was in an active labor and she was over an hour away. At this point, I wasn’t sure what was going
on. I knew something seemed different but didn’t want to alarm everyone that it
was time if it wasn’t. I got on Facebook and chatted with my birth group of
100+ other women who were all pregnant and due within two months of myself. We
were all finally having our babies! Having that group of support contributed to a fun pregnancy to say the least. While I updated them, my husband sat across the table playing a
computer game online. Around 8:45pm I confirmed to myself that they were indeed
in a pattern and decided to text my midwife back. She knew that I had no
problem with checking my own dilation and asked if I minded checking again. I was in shock! I still to
this day don’t know how far dilated I was, but I knew it was a lot bigger than
the 3-4 I was a few hours earlier! It was time for the midwives to get on the road! I
now wanted to go get back in the bath to shave. Dealing with contractions and
trying to shave was annoying, so I tried to hurry up. It was around 9:50 when I
was out and sitting back at the table with my husband. We just sat there and
talked as we both played around on the computer and joked about how crazy it
all was. I was in labor, in no pain, and
just…hanging out in my home. I decided I should go ahead and start baking
Emery’s birthday cake, so Natalie and I started to get it all ready and popped
it in the oven. I really cherish that last final activity that we shared
together. I was letting go of being a mother of one, and she helped with open
arms welcome her little sister.
I had planned on having two birth
photographers, but a few days before the birth one said that she was not able to make it. Our doula/birth assistant Jenni offered to ask her friend Whitney who was new to photography if
she wanted to fill in. I had never met her before, but I willingly invited her
to be apart of our birth. I had been in contact with Jenni as I paced up and
down the hall while dealing with contractions. She was so gentle and sweet on
the phone. Jenni and Whitney arrived at my house first around 11:10pm. Natalie
was so excited to have them over; she thought it was a big slumber party!
Whitney offered to read Natalie her book about becoming a big sister, and I
walked around as we got things prepared. I asked my husband to bring the stereo
in the living room so I could put on my Pandora play list. I put on Ray
Lamontagne's playlist, and the music was calming and uplifting to me. Jenni offered to rub my legs with essential oils as I sat on the
chair, so I sat down and relaxed.
As she rubbed my legs and feet, I could feel
warmth restore through my entire body. She helped me through contractions and
reminded me to relax my shoulders when I started to tense up. They were very
short, still only about a minute along. I could tell that Jenni was thinking
that I was still early in labor and it might be a long night. At this point, in
my head I’m praying that I didn’t call them over too soon. I didn’t want these
poor women siting bored all night! I decided to hold off on calling my friend
Em to come over and my other birth photographer, Misti. My midwife Emily
arrived and I asked for her to check my dilation. We went into the “birth room”
(what normally is my daughter’s playroom) and did a quick cervical check. I was
7cm dilated! We were all in a bit of shock at that point, since I was just
hanging out with everyone, and talking through contractions. I walked back out
into the living room and smiled at my husband. I was so eager and excited to be
that much closer to meeting my new squish. My midwife brought the yoga/birthing
ball as I had requested, so I sat on that and rocked back and forth.
She made
me a warm rice sock to help ease the pressure I was feeling on the bottom of my
stomach. I kept to myself for the most
part, enjoying the last moments of my pregnancy and concentrated on remaining
aware of my body and it’s ability to birth my daughter. The universe was on my side that night,
because the contractions weren’t that bad. It would be more appropriate to
describe them as pressure and a shooting pain in my cervix. (Hello, dilation!) I
text Em and Misti, they were both on their way over. I don’t remember who
showed up first but I will never forget when Misti arrived. She walked in with
a huge eager smile on her face and brought forth so much positive energy. She
started setting up her camera and lights and I continued to rock back and forth
on the ball. My husband stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders as I dealt with
my contractions.
Natalie had fallen asleep on the couch and we decided to leave
her there since we wanted her to be near and apart of the birth. I had a lot of
people during my pregnancy tell me I would scar her for life, but the birth of
her sister wasn’t just a “mommy and daddy” event in my mind, it was for the
entire family and would be celebrated as such.
During all of this, my midwives
had been filling up my birthing pool and charting my progress.
We were running out of hot water and
having to turn it off and wait for more to heat up. For a little while, we all
just hung out in the living room. Misti took pictures of the surrounding events and Whitney took short clips of video. Em sat beside me and we talked
here and there, but I mainly kept quiet and to myself. I snacked on some fruit and updated my birth group that I was in active
labor.
Natalie had been
sleeping on the couch for a while, so I went to sit with her. I placed her head
in my lap as she rested, and dealt with each wave of contraction that was bringing
Emery closer to this world.
When I started searching for names and came across
Emery, I knew it was for her. The meaning of it to me was perfect. Emery means Home Strength and I found it very suiting.
Back to sitting on the
couch… looking back, I probably sat at 10cm for a while and didn’t know,
because when my water broke it didn’t take long for her to get here. It broke as I was sitting down on the couch and I swiftly moved Natalie, and made my way into the pool.
Although we hadn’t filled it up quite as deep as I would have liked, it felt
calming and very relaxing. I requested that Natalie be woken up and brought
into the room. She is never happy about being woken up from a deep sleep, but I
didn’t want to do it without her. She was fussy, curious and very protective of
me. I initially got in the pool squatting with my back to my husband who was
sitting behind me.
My midwife checked my dilation and told me I was ready to
push when I felt like it.
I could feel each contraction working to ease her down but I suddenly had to throw myself onto all fours. Had I have not; I’m sure she
would have shot out in one push. Squatting made me feel like I had no control
over her descend, so all fours felt easier for me.
All of these people are here to support me and welcome this baby. That
moment is unforgettable. Natalie was on the side of the pool and upset, and as
I dealt with each contraction and pushing, I talked to her to help her
understand. I am so thankful that Em was there to help out with her.
I think in that moment I was equally focused on both of my
children. I started to push and felt pressure and stinging. It wasn’t extremely
painful as some might think. I could tell I needed counter pressure put on my
bottom but before I could even ask, my other midwife Molly started to do it.
That was exactly what I needed to give the push to birth her head. I felt more
stinging and distinctly remember thinking, “So this is the ring of fire? The
hard part is over!” I had been pretty quiet up to this point, but when her head
came out I let out an involuntary moan. The moan of relief. The moment Emery’s
head was born; my husband was ready to catch her.
His first word upon
seeing her was, “Wow.” I gave a push one last time and her body was born into the arms of her daddy. He pulled
her up out of the water and she let out a short cry.
I turned myself over slowly because she had a short cord.
Emery was handed to me and Natalie joined us in the pool.
We sat in the pool
examining this new life that had just entered our family, and waited for the
blood to pass through the cord. For some odd reason, I was nervous that my husband was going to cut her when he cut the cord. I was also a bit emotional while he cut the cord, but I don't think I showed that to anyone. I wanted that moment to show importance, the moment where we would gently release her into this world as her own person. We had grown together for so long, and now it was time to start a different journey earthside.
Emery was handed to
him wrapped up in a warm towel and Natalie got out as well. My work was not over;
I still had to birth the placenta. I felt a stinging pain down below and I knew
I had torn. My body was in a bit of shock. I felt light headed and my stomach was so empty! After the placenta was born we gave it to my friend Em to prepare for prints and encapsulation.
I could not find the energy to
get out of the pool. I sat in there until I could gain my strength to dry off, and then
went over to the bed to meet my baby once again.
I offered her my breast and
she took to nursing right away. I was so proud of her for nursing off the bat and felt much more comfortable with it this time around. I truly think support and confidence makes the world of a difference. We
eventually went into the living room where we did the newborn exam and weighed
her.
My midwife and I had assumed she was going to be around 6 pounds, so when I heard her weight called out I was impressed and shocked. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces! I laughed to myself that I gave birth medicated to my smaller child, and did the heavier one naturally.
After this experience, I could
never imagine giving birth any other way. It was life changing and a moment I
won’t soon forget. I developed a deep passion for pregnancy and birth throughout this whole experience and plan to start my midwifery training in the near future. Today marks the anniversary of Emery's first year of life. She has been a true blessing to our family and we all love her dearly. A special thank you to all the women who attended my birth and contributed to the celebration of her journey.
Happy FIRST birthday Emery!
-Mommy
